Dear 100th Sheep,
I am glad these letters are helping. It's encouraging that you've repented of your sin. That's good. Instead of running from or medicating your pain, you are facing it head-on in Christ. Trying to handle suffering apart from Him always brings death and destruction, but pain acts as a healing fire rather than a destructive force with Jesus.
In your last email, you talked about how you feel that your actions' consequences far outweigh what you did wrong. You also mentioned how some people, especially Christians, were unkind to you. You ended your email with the question, "Why me?"
Perhaps you were just emoting, but I'd like to respond to your question. The best Person to answer that question is God Himself. He answers that question in the book of Job.
As we look at God's answer, though, let us remember a big difference between Job and us. The Bible says Job was:
blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil. Job 1:1
I wish the same could be about you and me? If we are honest, we can relate more to men like David after committing adultery and murdering a man. We can relate to David when he wrote:
For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me." Psalm 51:3
No, we can't put ourselves in the same category as Job. We can, however, relate to Job's suffering. Job learned that all his children died in a matter of moments, and all his possessions were destroyed. Can you imagine the shock he experienced as his whole life crumbled right before his eyes? To make matters worse, his entire body was soon covered with painful boils. And instead of comforting him, his wife told him to "curse God and die."
We learn that all this happened because Satan was accusing Job before the throne of God. Satan contended that Job was a righteous man only because God blessed him. Take away God's blessing, Satan argued, and Job will buckle. So God gave Satan permission to have at him. The only thing Satan couldn't do was take his life.
How's that for a raw deal?
When Job's friends heard of his calamity, they came to comfort him. I think the question that was on Job's mind as he sat there was the same question you asked, "Why me?" I bet his friends were asking that question as well. They didn't say a word to Job for three days. Perhaps it would have been better if they just kept their mouths shut, but given human nature, it was only a matter of time before someone spoke.
Instead of offering any real comfort, his friends decided to philosophize on the problem of evil, especially as it related to Job. The first proposed answer to Job's suffering was that he must have done something wrong. God must be punishing him because he did something terrible in the past.
The problem with saying that Job was suffering because of some past sin is that the Bible makes it clear, as we mentioned above, that Job was a righteous man. So, if his calamities weren't because he had some hidden sin, then his friends reasoned that it must be because God was chastising Job. Elihu opined
Behold, God does all these things, twice, three times, with a man, to bring back his soul from the pit, that he may be lighted with the light of life. Job 33:29+30
It's not a bad theory. What Prodigal Son isn't familiar with Hebrews 12:5-10:
And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?
"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him
For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives."
It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.
God chastises His wayward children to help us return to the Way. However, Job wasn't being punished for some past sin, and he wasn't being chastised by God either.
How did God answer Job's "Why me?" question? It’s imperative that you understand God's answer to answer your own, "Why me?". God's response to Job can answer the question for us.
What was God's answer? He started answering Job in chapter 38. His answer is found in the 77 questions He asked Job. Here's the beginning of His answer:
Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind and said:
"Who is this that darkens counsel by words without knowledge?
Dress for action like a man;
I will question you, and you make it known to me.
"Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?
Tell me, if you have understanding.
Who determined its measurements—surely you know!
Or who stretched the line upon it?
On what were its bases sunk,
or who laid its cornerstone,
when the morning stars sang together
and all the sons of God shouted for joy? Job 38:1-7
What's the essence of God's answer to Job's?
The answer is that God does not owe him an explanation.
He is God and Job is not. You may not like this answer, but it is the one that God gives. In fact, God's answer hits at the root of why we strayed in the first place. We thought we knew better than God.
This problem goes back to original sin. Satan put into Eve's mind a subtle but power thought, "Did God really say?" (Genesis 3:1) When she listened, she set herself above God. Satan was right; she became "like God," determining what is right and wrong rather than going by God’s standard. Adam quickly followed suit and willfully disobeyed God's command to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
To ask the question, "Why me?" reveals humanities problem, not God’s. It shows our true nature. When we ask the question, "Why me?" we are sitting in judgment of God and demanding He answers us. As if we have the right to stand in judgment of God.
It is the epitome of hubris to put God on the stand and interrogate Him. The "Why me?" question presupposes that God owes us an explanation of who He is and why He does what He does.
How many people, Christians included, believe that the universe revolves around them? How many believe that God somehow needs humanity to make Him feel complete? How many think God owes us an explanation?
God does not exist for our benefit. Many Christians think that the primary purpose of the life of Jesus Christ was for our sole benefit. Truth be told, Christ came to do the will of the Father (John 6:38). The cross was God satisfying Himself, His own standard of holiness, His completion of His justice, and the fulfillment of His redeeming love. So many Christians have been taught that God is anxiously pacing back and forth in heaven, hoping people will respond to the message of the gospel as if He will be lonely if we don't "accept Jesus."
When we ask, "Why me?" we reveal the heart of sinful humanity, demanding God to answer to us. It is us setting ourselves above God and insisting that He give us a satisfactory answer to life's suffering.
Let us set the record straight. God is the self-existing Trinity. God is complete in and of Himself and does not need anyone or anything to make Himself complete. The truth is, He doesn't need us for anything. He doesn't owe Job an answer, and He certainly doesn't owe us one, and He certainly doesn't have to justify Himself to sinful humanity.
What are we supposed to do with God's 77 questions? Job has the only appropriate response to God that any of us can have.:
Behold, I am of small account; what shall I answer you?
I lay my hand on my mouth.
I have spoken once, and I will not answer;
twice, but I will proceed no further." Job 40:4+5
The only appropriate response for us is to shut our mouths in the presence of God and remember who is He and who we are not.
Perhaps you didn't expect this to be the answer to your "Why me?" question, but that is God’s answer. The sooner we accept it, the sooner we will find health and wholeness in this life.
Sincerely,
Norman H. Patterson, Jr.
Fellow 100th Sheep
