By Norman H. Patterson Jr.
Mean Christians
Let’s face it, there are mean people in this world. If we are honest, some of those people call themselves by the name of Christ.
This caused me a great deal of confusion, particularly when I was in the darkest time in my life. "Surely they will show compassion," I thought to myself. It was just the opposite. They came at me with a vengeance.
Mean to the Extreme
Curiously enough, I found comfort in the writings of Richard Wurmbrand. He was an evangelical minister who endured 14 years of Communist imprisonment and torture in his homeland of Romania. The sentence I just wrote cannot possibly communicate the pain, humiliation, and sorrow this man and his family endured. The people who inflicted this torture on him and millions of other Christian believed they were doing a good thing. "If only these Believers would give up their archaic beliefs, the beauty of Communism would be advanced."
Sometimes people can be unbelievably cruel to their fellow human beings even to the point of brutally torturing them. The reality is that people, even Christians, can be severe.
It’s Not Okay
How do you make sense of this? Honestly, I cannot find a way to make it "okay." It isn't okay, and it never will be. What I can do is to look at the life of Jesus Christ.
I wish I could say I was completely innocent and didn't deserve unkindness. But I can't. Who of us can say we are entirely innocent? The only way I can face the reality of other people's cruelty is to look into the face of Jesus Christ.
Meanness and the Cross
Here we have a Man that truly is entirely innocent. He never harmed anyone. He always did right. He endured the shame, humiliation, and pain of the Cross. And He did it willingly. He could have stopped it at any moment, but there was no other way to bring salvation to this world. It was only through the cruelty of the Cross. And it is through this same Cross that all the wickedness of humanity will end. I can't pretend I understand the ways of God. If it were me, I would end it right now. God doesn't stop it immediately. Instead, He continues to give us Jesus Christ by the power of the Spirit of God.
Dealing With Mean People
Continue to Love and Pray for your Enemies
How did Richard Wurmbrand survive torture? He continued to love and pray for those who tortured him. He kept his eyes on Jesus Christ and demonstrated the love of Christ to them. I try to do this with the people who have hurt me. Jesus says, love your enemies, so I love them.
2. Forgive
Jesus tells us to forgive mean people. There is a dynamic of hurt and hate that keeps us connected to mean people. Our minds end up being filled with thoughts about those who hurt us. Sad to say, we can end up being bound to abusers because of the wounds they inflict.
Forgiveness isn’t easy. We bare the price of the hurts committed against us. Forgiveness is sacrificial. Something is lost when we forgive. We give up the right of revenge and retribution. But we also give up the power mean people have over our thoughts, emotions and sometimes, our lives.
3. If possible, get them out of your life
One of the best ways to stop a toxic person from hurting you is to get them out of your life, if at all possible. Sometimes, that is not possible, but at other times, it is possible. There is a time to just walk away.
If it’s not possible, perhaps this is a time to learn to stand up to the bully. Perhaps God is calling you to assert yourself or establish healthy boundaries or fight in a healthy way.
4. Realize Who the Real Enemy Is
Christ’s call to love our enemy is not an easy one, but it is true. As we draw closer to Jesus, we can begin to see people through His eyes. Cruel people are broken people in need of prayer, love, and compassion. I’m not suggesting there aren’t consequences to bad behavior. There are times when we may need to have outside intervention to prevent future harm.
It is easy to demonize cruel people. However, the Bible tells us in Ephesians 6:12 that we are ultimately not fighting people. Paul makes us aware that there are demonic forces that hate us. Deceived people can carryout the plans of demonic forces. Paul further shows us how to fight against the demonic realm… by standing firm in prayer armored by Christ.
In Conclusion
In the end, the only way to emotionally deal with cruel people is through the Cross of Christ. Once we accept the reality that mean people exist, we can begin to proactively deal with it. And once we deal with it, we can live in as much peace and harmony as can, given the circumstances.
